Archive | June, 2016

Not sure

30 Jun

June 21, 2016

Paralyzed? No.
Numb? Maybe
Excited? Not really.

not backwards,
I’m moving.

To you? From you?
Not sure.
Looking for a cue.
Not sure
if I’m waiting for it
to come from you.

Or from me.
I just want to be free.

I’m moving.
Putting pieces of us
in a box.

Carry it with me.
Leave it behind.
Maybe I’ll lose it,
or maybe,
I’ll continue to
carry it inside.


28 Jun

Here. I am here.
You, you are over there.
Standing, moving, running.
Away from and to,
into and through.

Floating. I am floating.
On the currents.
To and fro
I go.
Into, away from you,
from me.
Back to you, away from you.
Into something new.

Over there, you’re over
I, I am everywhere.
In the trees,
in my skin.
I do not freeze,
I begin.

I am like the leaves.
Falling, falling.
Spun around and around.
Spinning to the ground.
Into the earth
I disintegrate.
Back into the dirt.

Back into the earth.
Floating in between everything.
I become everything,
am everything.

And nothing

Only floating,

In the earth
On the wind.
On the current.

I am lost, and I am
Without a sound,
I come unbound.

Dying Star

13 Jun

My heart is a dying star,
when I walk to the bus
stop, the mist & fog
dissolve around and
Into me.

The concrete sidewalk
catches the pieces
falling from me,
absorb back into me.
I become a mass of broken pieces.
my mass outweighs the light.

At the bus stop,
the star reaches for my thoughts.
Swallows them
and those of the people around me.
They disappear,
I breathe them in.

Wind rushes past me.
Growing louder
at my center, it hums and screams
I can hear it protest
as it careens into
me, into the star
into the widening Space.
It is lost with a hiss.

Walking to work, I
I am no longer a dying star.
I am a Space – a black hole.

Everything gravitates towards me.
Eyes, ears, cars
mist, fog, hands.
Everything disintegrates into me,
becomes a part of me.

Light and mist gain speed.
They run in.
The Space widens,
no longer just a black hole.
Rather a deep, black, living hole.
a being
a thing. No beginning,
no end.

Pass by a window,
look at it.
It’s a hole without edges –
I imagine I look at an enigma.

The Space is me.

My fingers are black.
My eyes are replaced
by fathomless cavities.
I am no longer

Only a dying star,
a black hole.
pain, hope, loss, love
become nothing.
I become nothing.
Am Nothing

but a dying star.


8 Jun

I’ve made so many wishes. So many wishes at 11:11. How many times have my feet hovered just above the car’s floor as we drove over a bridge? Muscles tensing to hold onto a wish until we made it to the other side. How many times have I held my breath while throttling through a tunnel and momentary darkness? Wishing my wish would come true and that we’d collide. Too many wishes I’ve hung in the air, to float on the wind, through my hair. Hanging in the air, they seem to carelessly flutter around and around, never really taking hold of anything. Aimlessly traveling, hoping, wishing to be found.

Wish for love, wish for kindness.
Wish for connection.
Hope for a call, or a text.
Hope for a sigh.
Wish for wanting. Want for wanting.
Subscribe to loneliness.
Hate it.
Desperately desire it.
Can’t live without it.
Yearn to be misunderstood
in understanding.
Love to be misjudged
and comprehended.


7 Jun

It’s me.
Dial tone.

Walk over, sit down
No, wait.
thisĀ out.

knock, knock.
Who is it?
It’s me.


Creak, crash
Shudder, lurch.

into ______.

Sigh, collapse
fall down
come in.

Let’s begin,