My hair

2 Mar

October 10, 2013

My hair.

My hair gets all the compliments.  Just the other day it shrugged off a compliment about its color.  My hair is too long, it’s always blowing around me, allowing the wind to wind its fingers through it to ultimately blind me and find its way into my mouth, necessitating I never wear lip gloss.  My hair somehow always finds its way underneath me or other things, dragging me back to where it wishes to stay.  My hair can never make up its mind and always goes with the flow, but alas, it is attached to my head and cannot go.

How I’ve Changed Since You Left Me

2 Mar

Rings so so true for the me that was two years ago. Beautiful.


17 Feb

Today I will listen to the birds in the tree. I follow them with my ears, their laughs and their calls. I listen to the wind in the leaves, to the flutter of their falls. I listen and answer nature’s call.

Today I will listen to my friend sitting next to me. I follow her emotions, up and down they fall and climb, as I listen to her troubles and to her joys. I shut out the noise and I listen. I give her my time.

Today I will listen to the heart within my chest. I follow its beat, consistent and strong, listening to its life and to its song. I listen and I learn to be calm.

Heart. Friend. Nature. I listen to. Patience. Calm. Compassion. All of them I learn from you .

Book Review: The Circle by David Eggers

17 Dec

The CircleThe Circle by Dave Eggers

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I ate this book up during the Thanksgiving Holiday break, and I still cannot stop talking about it or finding things in the Bay Area that make this book seem like a narrative about the present, rather than just a Science Fiction novel a la 1984.

Eggers’ The Circle should be read by everyone in the Bay Area, especially those that work at Google. In the book, Eggers questions Big Data and how the Circle, a Google-like” corporation, uses it to close the gap between our lives in the tangible world and our lives on the Interwebs. He explores the benefits and drawbacks this poses through Mae, the main character of the novel, and her experiences working at the Circle and interacting with her family and friends inside and outside of the company. Through Mae, Eggers explores the value our society places on privacy versus transparency. Mae has to decide if the ability to lead an honest life can coincide with one that deems that some parts of life are best kept private. Granted, some of the scenarios in the book are extreme, but it definitely got me thinking about all the online accounts I have linked to Facebook (which is the main reason I have not deleted my account).

More than once, I thought of Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, You Are Here: Discovering the Magic of the Present Moment while reading The Circle. I thought about mindfulness, how I am pursuing it, like so many of my friends, and how being mindful can and cannot coexist in a world where our lives have become ensconced within our devices. I just hope we don’t become like the walking corpses Thich Nhat Hanh talks about in his book. (And I’m glad I got a physical copy of both books so that I wasn’t reading either of them on a device.)

I don’t want to give too much away, so I will stop here. I guess you will just have to read it for yourself and decide if what Eggers describes is science fiction or reality.

View all my reviews

Information Overload

31 Oct

Journeying through my twenties, I realize I know absolutely nothing.  Honestly, the more time I spend on this planet, the more I feel like I have so much more to learn and experience.  For example, I recently decided I should invest some money in the stock market (partly for fun and partly because I thought that that is what grown-ups do), and then I realized I don’t know what the hell I am doing.  And like all the things I know little to nothing about, I research pod-casts, books, blogs and news articles to learn more and to make educated decisions and opinions.  But what usually happens is I get bogged down in all this information, and never take action or make an opinion.  I get paralyzed by all of this information.  I decided I wanted to invest in individual stocks back in March of 2013, it’s October 2014 now.

In Tim Ferriss’s The 4 Hour Work Week, Ferriss talks about limiting yourself to one nonfiction and one fiction book at a time and abstaining from reading, watching or listening to the news.  Basically his premise is that there is far too much knowledge for anyone to consume, assimilate, and act upon and we must be picky in what information we decide to consume.  I remember when I came across Ferriss’s idea and thought that it was interesting and valid, but I did not heed it. I want any and all information.  I want to be up-to-date on all of the current events and I want to always be reading articles to improve myself.  In addition, I have a list of about ten online courses I want to take to enhance my skill set, but like almost all Millennials, I have too many choices – in life, information to read, and otherwise.

With apps like Circa and Flipboard, news and information is catered to your interests and condensed for easier consumption.  With features to save articles you find interesting, or are interested in reading later, the information piles up inside your mind and in storage.  I find myself saving more and more articles, recipes and webpages to Pocket, and more often than not, never reading them again.  I am just too plain busy.  And that’s annoying.

So, I have resorted to lists.  Lists of articles to read, lists of webpages to look up, lists of things to do, and lists of books to read.  There is so much information that I want to store in my brain for later use, but what ends up happening is it simply gets shelved away for later reading, which almost never happens.  Instead, I waste time on Buzzfeed, reading through lists that require less brain power to assimilate, never getting around to all the information I have stored away and actually want to read.

P.S. Take a look at my review of The Circle here.  A parable about the perils of a too-connected life, and perhaps a foretelling of a future ensconced in Big Data? Hope you enjoy it!


7 Mar

I could see myself in New York City.
I could see myself anywhere really.
To be honest, I could see myself anywhere
anonymity thrives.

After a piece of you dies
and is replaced by an overwhelming need to grow,
and meet
an endless amount of people,
you need to discover yourself over and over again;
Reinvent yourself over and over until you become an enigma.

–Is this my goal?–

To become a new person so much so I can no longer be figured out? So that I can no longer figure myself out?

I guess that when the part of you dies
The part that you thought had defined
who you had been,
had determined
limited who you had been before,
you become liberated.
Liberated to become the person
you were always meant to be.

Protected: Ice Cream Epiphanies

10 Jul

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Worth it

20 May

My thoughts on leaving for the Mt. Everest Basecamp in two weeks time:

1. Was I on something when I sent in the official papers to subject myself to this cruel and unusual punishment of trekking for 20 days after living in India for 3 months?

2. What if I fall behind and can’t keep up with everyone else?

3. I could meet a monk there…

4. Will anyone my own age be on this trek with me?

5. Will I react with a good sense of humor or like a disgruntled old man when placed under extreme physical and mental duress?

6. I better put a lot of books on my Kindle before I go…

7. How am I going to write 50 postcards to send to everyone back home?

And even though I have all these thoughts running around in my head and I feel nervous, cautious, crazy and insane for deciding to do this, I know that it will be one of the best, most challenging things I have ever done in my life. It will be worth it.


19 May

Before I left for India, I was fraught with nervousness and a sense of loss; like I was putting my life ‘on hold’ yet again. ‘On hold’ again because it had taken such a long time to get a point where I could live my life without clutching my chest to keep the pieces of my broken heart from falling out. I felt like I was ‘on hold’ again after travelling for two months in Europe where I was seemingly taking a hiatus from life before the responsibilities of a new career and path structured my life and created a sense of normalcy and order. By going to India for three months, I felt that I was yet again putting my life ‘on hold’ by putting off the ability to plan out my life in years, not days or weeks, and ultimately foregoing control not just over where I was, but where I was going.

Now, after ‘putting my life on hold’ yet again, I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to settle down in one place yet. I don’t even want to begin looking for something that could eventually ‘settle me down.’ I think I have found the beginning of my path; to explore, to experience and to discover. I never really had a real purpose in life or something that I desperately wanted to do or accomplish. Some people want to cure cancer or devote their lives to NGOs… I never felt this draw to something outside of myself, or so I thought. I always believed that I needed to get a sensible job and earn money to support myself and an eventual family. I have realized though that as I begin to settle into this lifestyle that I thought was for me, it is not for me at all.

I thought I was idealistic, I was not. I acted realistically and logically in working to secure a good job and a good base for starting my adult life. I realize that I was being practical and fitting into a mold, a mold I am finding I do not fit into.

I did, I do, have a dream and a drive to do something outside myself. I want to write. I want to read. I want to be surrounded by the written word and enhance its proliferation. I never thought that this would be a smart or fulfilling choice for the path my life should follow but I realize that money and security really mean nothing if you are not truly happy and fulfilled. Perhaps I would not realize this if I had not had a taste of true happiness and freedom when I was ironically ‘putting my life on hold’ for those two months in Europe. But I have and so cannot help but dream about finding this happiness and fulfillment again.

I was not putting my life on hold at all by coming to India, I was finally discovering the beginning of my journey through life and self discovery. I was unearthing and learning to accept my wanderlust.

The Beginning

18 May

1. an act or circumstance of entering upon an action or state: the beginning of hostilities.

This is the beginning. Of what, I am not sure, but I know that it is the beginning.

I do know though that it is the beginning of a journey, my journey of wandering to discover who I am and what it could mean to be a young adult in this day and age… What it means to be a young adult and ‘find’ one’s self and your place in this world. Yes I know, this is so broad and overreaching but seeing as how I am in India right now, will be going to Nepal in 2 weeks and have spent the last six months of the past twelve months not in my home country, it stands to reason that most young people growing up in the 21st century, having some capacity to think outside themselves, are not simply residents of their home country, but of the world. This complicates how young people determine where they fit in in this large, large world. Globalization has a multitude of implications for every facet of life and study and this will affect my journey to explore, experience and discover myself, the world around me, and my place in it.

To start this blog, I thought it only appropriate to share my first blogs, the first of which will be updated when I get back to the US, when this blog will become my primary means of documenting this adventure.

Here’s to beginning.